Dogs Don’t Like Me

Not fifteen minutes ago I had a near miss involving my precious phalanges and the canines of a… Well, canine. The dog in question belongs to a neighbour of mine who I’ve always gladly stopped to talk to whenever our paths crossed. For reasons unknown (and possibly unknowable) to me, my neighbour’s dog however has disliking for me; always has. Today however, when I ran into them, my neighbour offered me a potential olive branch; a doggy treat which I could then take and offer to the pouch. This seemed like a perfect solution to years of uncomfortable encounters! I humbly offered the dog her treat. She humbly accepted. Whatever bad blood there had been between us seemed to have simply disappeared. Contented, I gave her a scratch behind the ear, said goodbye and walked away.

That’s when the bitch bit me in the ass.

My neighbour was horrified but fortunately also a responsible dog owner and he was quick with the leash. Which was nice because it meant I didn’t have to kill his dog… Which would have been my next move. Also, to my great fortune, it’s February and I was wearing my long coat which is only this side of being as heavy as kevlar, so my ass remains quite unscathed.

Now I have no intention of making this webspace a depository for the weekly banality of my life and I’m going somewhere with this so stay with me…

Dogs don’t like me. I get along great with most of the animal kingdom but it seems that man’s best friend is no friend of mine. Blame it on pheromones, maybe it’s my hirsuteness, whatever. I’m tired of trying to rectify things when I seem to be the only one who’s making any effort, which brings me to my point:

You can’t please everybody. Some people just won’t get your work. They just won’t get you. In fact they may even take an instant disliking to you before you even have a chance to prove yourself. What you’ve got to remember is that this has nothing to do with you (and I mean the collective “you” - I’m really talking about myself here). There are any number of reasons why somebody just may not like you and as an artist you can’t take that personally. Any equivalency of the phrase “It’s just not for us,” exists as a reminder of this. Taste is subjective and nothing’s personal.

As for me and the bitch who bit my ass, I’m not sure what I did in another life to deserve that, but in the next one I’m coming back as a flea.

3 Responses to “Dogs Don’t Like Me”

  1. Esn Says:

    That critic/dog analogy was about as subtle as a brick, Tyler.


    On a somewhat related note, did you hear that Paul Fierlinger is directing and animating a feature by himself called “My Dog Tulip”? There are some very skillfully-directed and funny clips to be seen on the official website:

  2. Carl Says:

    You ain’t kidding about the hair, dude. Bitch probably thought you were a bear.

    You’re in good company though; my godson made you look like a freshly waxed peach when he was born.

  3. Tyler Says:

    Following the logic that “everybody’s a critic,” then yes I suppose I was refering to critics, Esn, though my intention wasn’t to single out “professional critics.” I was actually thinking more about rejection letters when I was writing. The fact that you can’t take rejection of your script by a producer, for example, as a rejection of yourself. Sometimes it’s just not the right fit.

    As for professional critics, my opinion of them was best expressed by Anton Ego in “Ratatouille”: The bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is more meaningful than our criticism designating it so.

    Which isn’t to say a critic’s opinion isn’t a valid contribution to culture; just that it has to know its place.