Dotting The Ts & Crossing My Eyes

Work work work work and then… Nothing.

I’ve just spent several weeks and, yes, months preparing various projects for what can be summarized simply as pitches. And suddenly I find myself at the end of this process and entering a new stage of “development”: Waiting.

I’m not a big fan of waiting. Never have been. It’s a mortality thing, I suppose. I’d rather do than wait to do. There’s a stereotype about writers; that they’re lazy or procrastinators. By this prejudice I am most certainly not a writer. Perhaps I’m only one by default of the creative process. But I digress.

I’ve never been a big proponent of pitching. Probably because of that waiting element. After all, what’s pitching if not doing something other than actually creating. Unless it’s a means to that creative end. A part of the process. And it is. For some projects. Not necessarily a super fun part, but still a necessary part in order to achieve a certain level of satisfaction. Once again, this all comes back to mortality. Shoe-string art projects and boiling the broom for soup for years and years sounds really great and all, but I’ve got a few more ideas than that. Ideas on a larger scale.

Whether it’s applying to arts funding agencies, pitching to production companies or (just shoot me now) distribution companies there’s something to be said for mortality. I’m eventually going to be dead and I don’t want my legacy to be a bunch of movies I didn’t get made but that look absolutely stellar on paper. Likewise, I could go out and shoot and shoot or animate and animate the hell out of no-budget darlings but to what end? I’ve done that. I know how long that takes and I know what the outcome is. Mortality dictates that I take things to the next level.

So I’ve been dotting the Ts and crossing my eyes over what I know are great stories and turning them into great pitches. And I’ll keeping making those pitches. And while those doing the catching deliberate, I’ll keep right on creating new things.

I am a filmmaker after all, not a filmdreamer.

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