I Have An Agent

Well, he’s a real estate agent but still… The elation of having someone else to speak for me is not only a load off my mind but also probably best for everyone involved.

I’ve made the case for agents in the past with regard to actors, but I never really thought about how such a representative would benefit me. After all, I’m quite self motivated, one might say entrepreneurial, I’ve gotten by alright on my own; but lately I’ve been able to glean a little bit of a different way of life. A life of comfortable - and lets face it, necessary - absenteeism.

I use to work at a video store. A what? (Sorry, video stores were these shops that existed at the turn of the century where you could rent movies - before everything was free to own on the internet.) Anyway, one of my favourite things about working at this store (other than that my abbreviated title was “Ass. Man.” for “Assistant Manager” - English language puns go relatively unnoticed here in predominantly French Canada) was the irate customer. The irate customer was like a bomb being tossed into my lap and my job was to diffuse it. The tools at my disposal were simple; free stuff. Free movie, free popcorn, free anything to shut this nut up and send them on their way. After all, these irate customers weren’t angry at me, they were angry at the store. I was merely an agent of said store. After I was done smoothing things over, the no-longer irate customer was able to continue their relationship with the store for years to come.

That’s a beautiful thing.

That’s why agents exist. Because in all things transactional there’s an inherent ugliness that can sometimes boil over into the irate. And in the entertainment business I think most people are already half way there to begin with. Keeping those fragile parties separated during such tender moments makes working together later bearable.

Of course if we could all just grow up and act like rational adults who can be held to account for our own actions then there might be less need for agents at all. But where’s the satisfying feeling of self-importance in that?

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